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Biography of Me

Name: Matthew(Cybermr)

Birthplace: Fairfield, California

Religion: Mixture of Neo-Paganism, Satanism, Atheism(Mainly this now), Thelema, and Buddhism.

How I Became Me: Many things have gradually changed throughout the previous year or two. For most of my life, 15 or 16 years I was an atheist that did not really know what a religion was. That changed when an old friend that I did not talk to since my 8th grade year asked me to join him at his southern Baptist church. I was very open minded, so I said why not. After about 6 months or so, I went to church pretty much every Wednesday night for a youth group thing. I even went on a weekend get away church thing. Most of the stuff we did, just didn't seem right, almost stupid in a way. Towards the beginning of the holiday season that I was attending church, I just kind of drifted apart. I eventually found out disturbing things about the Christian church and began to develop a hate towards it. In the search to replace the newly created void that never was there before for religion. I stumbled upon Wicca and spoke to many people about it, it seemed so right. So I was pretty much a out of the broom closet Wiccan until I began to be interested in Satanism. This pretty much started when I found MP3s of Anton LaVey's reading of his Satanic Bible. It felt even more right than Wicca was. This also gave me a forum to vent my anti-Christian feelings. During this period of Wicca and Satanism, I pretty much attacked all other religious ideas and pissed off a lot of people. Eventually I just went back into Atheism for a period of time. College began and I was still pretty much atheist. College did a bunch of things to my beliefs, mostly due to philosophy class. It brought upon many different point of views and presented many things that I was ignoring when I Was Wiccan, Satanist, and Atheist. At that time something strange started to enter my belief system, the belief that there could actually be higher beings. Even more than that something happened as well, tolerance of other religions took off in my belief system. Two things were new to me, thoughts that there could be something more out there and a new found tolerance of other's religions. But once an atheist, always an atheist one may say. This is true to a point, which is why after philosophy class, I began to jump from religion to religion with great uncertainty. Another remaining aspect was changing, the influence of others on my beliefs kind of disappeared since few of my friends are talking very much now a days with full time jobs. I began to become interested once again into Wicca, but more into Neo-Paganism. It never really left me I felt, because I would always catch myself becoming quite pissed when people say lies bout the religion or do things that are against the somewhat known beliefs. So, am I a Neo-Pagan or not? Well, yes and no. My belief system has grown and matured greatly. So has my taste in music, not as much of my music is unholy black metal and gorific death metal. I enjoy things not for their extremeness or their anti-Christian ideals. But some of that still brings joy to my ears when listening to it. My belief structure is a large mixture of many things. A large amount of it is Neo-Paganism(rituals, spellwork, love of nature, and many other things), but I also incorporate Satanism(for the great desire for wisdom, not allowing yourself to become a mindless zombie hooked on chemicals, and the very strong will against ignorance in the world), atheism(for the doubt that will forever be with me that will keep me always searching for the truth in things), Thelema(for the many things in the book of the law as many guidelines for me and the interest in Egyptian philosophy), and Buddhism(for the finding of inner peace within one's self and mediation to remove stress from my body). Is there a name for this religion(or philosophy)? Not that I know of, so when people ask I would probably tell them Humanist(if they are a complete dumbass) or Eclectic Pagan(if they know of Paganism). But this doesn't mean I'm just one of mindless new age sheep, at times I feel stronger in Atheism or Satanism than Paganism. Which presents one of my abilities, to confuse people and to become a different type person when needed. Lately I have been less Neo-Pagan and more of an atheist, mostly getting sick of the happy go lucky person I was becoming.

Hobbies: Reading, Researching, Writing, Composing Music, Debates on Religious Topics, Programming, Confusing Minds, Seeking the Truth, and Being Bored.

Interests: Vikings and Norse Mythology, Occultism, Human Virus, Atheism, Satanism, Philosophy, Thelema, Egyptian Mythology, Computers, and others.

Movies: Monty Python, Action Flicks, Evil Dead, CyberPunk, Horror, and Gothic Influenced Movies.

Music: Gothic Rock, Medieval, Celtic, Pagan Rock, Classical, Black Metal, Death Metal, Heavy Metal, Industrial, Atmospheric Metal, Some Punk, and Darkwave.

Contact: Cybermr@lycos.com, try to limit the hatemail to one per person, it gets old with the same dumbass sending the same pathetic stuff over and over.

©Copyright 2001, 2002, Cybermr and A Failure to End Boredom.