| Humanity´s first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.
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| Why be born again, when you can just grow up? |
| Blasphemy is a blast for me. |
| Jesus is coming back, but don't worry -- we'll nail him again! |
| I found Him. I had Jesus in the trunk! |
| Pontius is my co-Pilate. |
| Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs
from your own. You may both be wrong. |
| Jesus -- The other white meat! |
| I love Jesus, Yes I do. Baked or broiled or in a stew... |
| Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. |
| Jesus was adopted. |
| Surgeon General´s Warning: Quitting Religion Now Greatly
Increases the Chances of World Peace. |
| If "he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword"
holds true, then jesus the carpenter met his end properly. After
all, he was nailed to a piece of wood, wasn´t he? |
| Losing your faith is a lot like losing your virginity you don´t
realise how irritating it was ´til it´s gone. |
| Archeologists near mount Sinai have discovered what is believed
to be a missing page from the Bible and is believed to read ´To
my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are
fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely
coincidental´. |
| Evolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither. |
| Atheism makes sense for America. |
| I went to church to confess my sins to God and then I realized
there was no God and I had no sins. |
| Jesus Christ: Imaginary Playmate to Millions of Adults! |
| Organized religion is responsible for the brainwashing of millions
of young children too young to know the difference between reality
and the fantasies of millions. Save Yourself. Drop Christianity. |
| FAITH - An attitude fostered by individuals in high places in
order to ensure the subservience of those in their charge. |
| Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is
answers that may never be questioned. |
| A zealot´s stones will break my bones, but gods will never
hurt me. |
| freethinker n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the
basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established
belief. |
| On the sixth day God created man. On the seventh day, man returned
the favor. |
| Fundamentalism means never having to say "I´m wrong." |
| Christianity: The understanding that "God" is the name
we give to the answer (which we do not know) to the question, "Why
is there anything at all?" - and that Christ is the self-expression
of God; the view that - against the appearances - we are loved in
the universe. |
| Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich |
| Wouldn´t it be funny if Elvis came back instead of Jesus? |
| Give a man a fish, and you´ll feed him for a day; Give him
a religion, and he´ll starve to death while praying for a
fish. |
| Two hands working do more than a thousand clasped in prayer. |
| Why does the Vatican have lightning rods? |
| Have you forgotten about Jesus? Isn´t it about time you
did? |
| If Jesus loves me, why doesn´t he ever send me flowers? |
It´s your god.
They´re your rules.
*You* go to hell. |
| I once believed in god. I got better. |
| Faith - the ability to believe the ridiculous for the sublime. |
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
The Wise Man Says it to the World. |
| Garbage In -- Gospel Out |
| A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity. |
Vique´s Law:
A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle. |
| Man created God in his own image. |
God did not create the world in 7 days.
He screwed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter. |
| Faith is deciding to allow yourself to believe something
your intellect would otherwise cause you to reject -- otherwise
there´s no need for faith. |
| Theology: The study of elaborate verbal disguises for non-ideas. |
| God: The Immutable Chameleon; whenever the need is
felt by one of his followers, He obligingly recreates himself to
suit the occasion. |
| The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of
the eye: the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract. |
Q: Jesus was renowned for his ability to heal. What
was the one affliction that proved to malignant for his cure?
A: Christianity |
| Jesus loves you all, and can´t wait to control you like
a small household pet |
| Belief in heaven is very difficult without a greedy desire for
it: All scams need a hook. |
Humanity sees its reflection in the mirrors that surround
it, and thus gratified, calls this image perfect, good, merciful,
omniscient, omnipresent, holy, just, and above all, love. So enchanted
are these hairless apes with this, that they invent
a special word for it: ´God´. |
The scientist yearns to find and eventually know the truth;
The religious man wants the truth to fit his preconceived mold.
So, as a result...
The scientist alters his perception to conform to the facts;
The religious man tries to change the facts to conform to his beliefs. |
| Religions are what dreams are made of. |
| For many, faith is a suitable substitute for knowledge,
as death is for a difficult life. |
| The Christian lives in a nightmare and thinks it is a pleasant
dream. |
| Whatever we cannot easily understand we call God: this
saves much wear and tear on the brain tissues. |
| We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice
vengeance, persecution, hatred and domination. My personal beliefs
are supported and validated by my convictions. Oh, and never forget
.... my religion is truth, yours is a lie. |
| If the Bible proves that God exists then comic books prove the
existence of Superman. |
| Out of convicted rapists, 57% admitted to reading pornography.
95% admitted to reading the Bible. |
| The Holy Father is neither. |
| The greater your ignorance, the more evidence you have for the
existence of God! |
| Several thousand years ago, a small tribe of ignorant
near-savages wrote various collections of myths, wild tales, lies,
and gibberish. Over the centuries, these stories were embroidered,
garbled, mutilated, and torn into small pieces that were then repeatedly
shuffled. Finally, this material was badly translated into several
languages successively. The resultant text, creationists feel, is
the best guide to this complex and technical subject. |
God inspires men to preach what sounds like bullshit.
Men who preach the bullshit admit it sounds like bullshit.
God punishes those who hear the bullshit and characterize it as
bullshit. If God has a problem with that, it´s His own damn
fault. |
| If god doesn´t like the way I live, Let him tell
me, not you. |
| Christianity: Safer than a lobotomy, but just as effective. |
WWJD?
Probably get his dumb ass nailed to a cross... |