Jesus Lives

A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping
through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best
described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses.
Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile
up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman
who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring
when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and
then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed
was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and
climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of
the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old
Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped,"
Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was
convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he
went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on
the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and
discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his
way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed
of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up
sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several
of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and
lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come
back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs.
Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into
the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who
says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins
replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected
anything like this to happen."